Divorces are one of the Most Trying Times

The experts at Real Love Advisors know that the end of a marriage is one of the most trying times in peoples’ lives. Not only are they trying to get their lives together in terms of finances, living arrangements, custody agreements, and divorce papers, but they are also trying to get themselves together. The combination of all of these factors can be overwhelming and the struggles may seem never­ ending. Under these circumstances, many people are so consumed with all of their problems that dating seems to be an unlikely option.

Dating after divorce, according to Real Love Advisors, should not be a burden but rather an opportunity to experience new things and meet other great people who may be trying to find their way, as well. If you are considering dating after a divorce, there are many factors that you need to think about to make it a great experience.

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What We Recommend

First and foremost, Real Love Advisors suggests that all divorced singles need to ensure that they are emotionally ready to share new experiences with another person again before venturing out into the dating world. One of the biggest turn offs is when someone brings a load of old baggage into a new relationship. If your heart is still on the mend from a broken marriage, take the time to make sure you are completely healed before moving forward. If you are not 100% healed, your new dates will almost surely noticed that both your head and your heart just aren’t fully focused on dating and the relationship will be over before it ever starts. Secondly, you need to be healed enough and prepared enough in order to deal with disappointment and heart ache because relationships aren’t easy and venturing out to date can cause hurt feelings and egos. Not every person you meet is going to be ideal or even close to ideal so it may take dozens of dates before you stumble upon someone even close to what you are looking for. Its very important for divorcees to realize this concept from the start, according to Real Love Melbourne, so that they are not completely discouraged from the beginning. If you go into it mentally prepared, it will be much easier to weather the ups and downs and the disappointment and excitement that come with dating.

Real Love Advisors in Melbourne FL also recommends that you start slowly by attending work functions, church outings, and other venues so that you get comfortable socializing with people again as a single adult verses a married couple. Work is great because you already have something in common with the person ­ you work for the same company so this can serve as a great conversation starter. In addition, join a fitness club, take classes that interest you, or reconnect with old friends. Its important to keep yourself busy and to actively expand your social circle. After all, it is nearly impossible to meet the love of your life on your living room couch.

Its also important to keep things in perspective and realize that no one is perfect, not even yourself. Real Love Advisors warn that you should not set your standards too high just because you had a disappointing marriage. Just because one relationship did not work out the way you would have liked doesn’t mean every other relationship is doomed to failure or that every other person will repeat the same mistakes. Dating after a divorce is a great way to learn more about yourself and identify things you need to work on improving.

Real Love Advisors in Melbourne FL warns that you should move slowly and not jump from one person to the next but to give yourself time between relationships. Give yourself a break after the end of a romance, even if it was short lived. This will give you a chance to look at why it didn’t work out and why you need to do to be more successful.

Never compare old relationships to your new one, whether it be out loud or mentally, says Real Love Advisors. You should always look at a new relationship as a new experience and a new chapter in your life. If you are constantly comparing your new relationship to your old relationship, you never give yourself the true opportunity to move forward. It is important to have a clear picture of what you are looking for so you know which red flags to avoid but don’t constantly compare a new date with a previous date.

It doesn’t matter how infuriating your ex can be, don’t go out on new dates with old news, warns Real Love Melbourne. Your new date doesn’t want to listen to you vent about your past relationships all evening. Dating is intended to give two people the opportunity to get to know each other and that doesn’t include a full review of what went wrong in past relationships. Conversations with your date should be light and positive. You should be discussing enjoyable things and happy events and looking forward to the future.

A very important matter to consider is the involvement of your children. Real Love Advisors thinks that it is important to really get to know someone before introducing them into your children’s lives. However, at the same time, do not try to hide the fact that you are dating from your children as they will sense this and then wonder why you are hiding it. Share with them a few details so they feel as if your dating is a healthy thing that is to be proud of, not something to hide and be secretive about. Let them know that you will introduce them to this new person if and when things move along a little more. The last thing you want is for your kids to deal with the heartbreak of a divorce and then get attached to a new person and deal with the heartbreak all over again if things don’t work out between the two of you. It is essential that you only introduce them to someone who you truly have a future with.

Real Love Advisors Suggests

Real Love Advisors suggests that the most important thing to do after a divorce is to take things slow. Remember, there is no rush… no one, other than yourself, is pushing you to race to find the perfect partner. Enjoy each date, savor the simple pleasures, remember that dating is supposed to be fun, not a chore. Each date serves as a new experience and an opportunity to learn and to narrow your search for the right person. All too often, newly divorced individuals jump right into a new relationship to trio to fill the void that was left when their marriage failed. Real Love Advisors Melbourne FL suggests that this is just about the worst thing you can do. A relationship which is started under these circumstances is doomed to failure. This is especially true when it comes to becoming intimate with someone. Intimacy is meant to be special and saved for those who you truly have intense feelings for. Bringing intimacy into a new relationship too soon is a sure way to ruin it before it ever really gets going. This may say the wrong things about you and what your intentions are. If someone is truly interested in you, they will not mind waiting to get to know you before becoming intimate.

Real Love Melbourne definitely agrees that there is someone out there for everyone. Just because you have suffered from a divorce does not mean the world has come to an end.

Everything happens for a reason and the reason just may be that your perfect someone is still out there just waiting for you. If you don’t give yourself a chance to find your soulmate, you won’t. No one is going to magically appear at your door. Divorce is scary, lonely, stressful, and disappointing but there is a light at the end of the tunnel but you need to move through the tunnel and out into the light to find the right one!

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